Chally Says I'm Beautiful!

Description: A whitish-bluish square with black writing. Black swirly things and butterflies coming from the top-left corner. Reads: Blog Awards Winner (line) Beautiful Blogger (line) Award

A while ago, Chally from Zero at the Bone awarded me the Beautiful Blogger award. It's taken me a while, but thank you Chally. This filled me with warm fuzzy feelings and happiness :)

Awardees are to list seven things about themselves, so here goes.

1. I want to get a brain-scan, because I'm curious as to what my mind looks like when it's thinking, and how this compares to other minds.
   
2. I sometimes perceive words as tastes, textures and smells. Words with Ms and Ls (malevolence, maleficent) are like fresh strawberries. Algebra is like biting into a mango without a pip.
   
3. I have been diagnosed with clinical depression, and self-diagnosed with bipolar
   
4. I am queer - pansexual to be specific
   
5. I am a geek dating a geek who is also a wonderful ally
   
6. I use the term Equalist because there are multiple (strawberries) spheres of oppression, and I cannot be against sexism if I'm not also against racism, transphobia, ableism, homophobia etc.
   
7. I am also a feminist, and in claiming that identity I need to own the horrible racist and transphobic history (and present) of feminism, and actively fight against it.
   
8. Ok, 8 things, but meh: Please call me on my shit. Even though I stand against racism and transphobia and ableism and homophobia and sexism, I am not imune to the effects of the kyriarchy. If I say or do something problematic, please call me on it.

Thankyou for reading boring shit about me. I would like to pass this award onto Lauredhel, who blog at Hoyden About Town and Feminists With Disabilities: For A Way Forward and at her personal DreamWidth account.
Lauredhel inspired me to write about ableism and has on more than one occasion caused me to question myself and my beliefs (this is a good thing). She is a wonderful person who deserves more love and respect than I could give in a blog post. So thank you Lauredhel.

Thank you again.

How To Be An Ally: A Guide For The Currently Not-Disabled

Terminology:
CND: Currently Not-Disabled
PWD: Person With Disability

If you are a Currently Not-Disabled person interested in Disability Rights and fighting ableism, this is for you. It is in no way a comprehensive list, and things might be added, removed, changed in the future, but it is a start. I appreciate any help people are willing and able to give :)

And so, without further ado,


How To Be An Ally: A Guide For The Currently Not-Disabled

• Do Not Police Disability
  
• Watch Your Language
  
• Do Not Offer Treatment Advice
  
• Consider Accessibility When Planning Events
  
• Website Accessibility Matters
  
• Stand When You Can
  
• Speak Up
  
• Further Reading

Do Not Police Disability
This is the first point because it is the most important. I've seen it happen before: a well-meaning CND is somewhere like... a train. They see someone in the priority seat who, in their mind, does not fit the definition of disabled. Well-meaning CND decides to scold said person, for using up a seat which someone "more needy" could be sitting in.
DO NOT do this! I cannot tress this enough. Just because you can't tell, doesn't mean a person is not disabled. Check out the wiki article on Invisible Disabilities.
It is not up to you to determine whether a person fits the definition of disabled. Not all PWDs fit the traditional image of a cane or wheelchair. Not every PWD has a physical disability. Just because you haven't heard about it, doesn't mean it's not real. It is not your job to decide. To sum up: A PWD does not have to justify themselves to a CND. A PWD does not need the approval of a CND to be disabled.

Watch Your Language
This one is hard, I know. Language is tricky. You might not know a word is hurtful. You might not agree with a PWD when they say a word is marginalising. But let me tell you: it's true. It hurts when you are the reason people do bad things (are you INSANE?!?!). It hurts when you are used to refer to bad things (that's so LAME). It hurts when you are the catch-all for things people don't like (that's RETARDED). Here's a tip: If a PWD tells you that a word you've used hurts them, stop using it. You can be a good ally and expand your vocabulary at the same time! For more information on language and how it can hurt, check out the Ableist Word Profile at Feminists With Disabilities: For A Way FWD

Do Not Offer Treatment Advice
While you think your advice might be helpful, chances are they've heard it all before. Believe it or not, PWD know a lot about their own lives and their own bodies! So "helpful advice" just comes across as annoying at best, condescending at worst.
Some examples:
* Why don't you just [Insert Advice]
* You should think positive!
* Have you tried [insert miracle cure]
* My friend/aunt/mother/person I know somehow was depressed, and they [insert miracle cure here]. Now they're all better!
For more information, read Disability 101: Treatment Suggestions and Why They Are Not a Good Idea  

Consider Accessibility When Planning Events
This can be any sort of event, from a feminist gathering to a gathering of friends. If it's friends, this might be easier because you might already know what sort of accommodations are needed. When you're hosting an event or gathering, consider the following things:
* Are there any stairs? A single stair makes the event inaccessible.
* How wide are the doors? Do they open automatically, or are they manual?
* What is the atmosphere like? How bright are the lights? What is the ambient noise level?
* If there is literature, what sort of paper is it written on? What colour? How large is the font? What colour?
* Is there captioning or sign available?
This is just a small selection of things which need to be considered. For some more information, have a browse at various disability rights websites. To get you started: Question Time: Accessibility.
 
Website Accessibility Matters
It matters, just as much as event accessibility. Unfortunately, I'm not very knowledgeable about how to make websites accessible, so I'm going to leave you with some links: Question Time: Thinking About Website Accessibility Tools to Download to help make your website accessible (From Vision Australia) Web Accessibility Initiative

Stand When You Can
It might seem small, it might seem silly, but it might help. Stand on a crowded bus or train, if you can. There could be someone with an invisible disability who needs to sit, but doesn't want to go through the hassle of outing themselves to do so (especially since they might not be believed). So allowing that extra seat is good. But remember: do not police disability!  

Speak Up
This is the hardest thing to do, because it not only challenges your own privileges, but those of the people around you. Speak up against Ableism. Call people out on ableist language, challenge stereotypes. Speak up, because a PWD might not always have the spoons to do so. Speak up, because it needs to be done. Speak up, because underlying assumptions hurt us even when we aren't around to hear them voiced.

Further Reading
* Feminists With Disabilities: For A Way Forward (Please read the Comments Policy before leaving comments)
* Disability Etiquette: Wiki Page
* The Spoon Theory (PDF)
* Teen Mental Health Blog
* Disability at Dreamwidth
* Ouch
* The Deal With Disability
Thank you for reading. If you have any advice or links, please feel free to leave them in the comments.

Name and Shame

One of my forms of activism takes place in the childcare centre I work at. I challenge biases, encourage diversity, and try my best to treat the children equally. I've been teaching my toddlers some basic sign language (please, thank you, numbers, alphabet), and I like to say things like "Some people have two mummies or two daddies" to the Kindy children (as an aside: Kindy children are at an age where bias has seeped in, so it's a great time to challenge).

An important part of this is using the correct names for anatomy. Of course head is head, foot is foot, ear is ear. But I also use words like: vulva, vagina, breasts, testical, penis. (I say bottom, not anus or rectum, because they all understand bottom. But, I digress).
I also try my damndest to never shame any of the children about their bodies, about nudity, or really about anything.

So you can imagine my horror when I hear one of the carers say to a PF¹ toddler: "Put your pants on! No one wants to see you rudey-dudeys!"
Wow. What a way to shame! Not only are her vulva and vagina "rude", but no one wants to see them! How dare she show her shameful body like that?
What bothers me more is that this took place in the children's toilet, while said carer was changing said child's nappy. Of course she wasn't wearing pants, you've just taken her nappy off! How 'bout you simply put it back on instead of shaming her?


Another incident happened with a parent. We have just had two PF's start in the centre, and one of the ways we transition children is to have them come in for a few hours with their primary caregiver/s. This was such an occasion. The father was in my room with the younger child, the mother was in the kindy room with the older child.

Father noticed that one of the PMs² was wearing pink polish on his toenails. The conversation went like this.
Father: He's wearing nail polish.
Me: Yes. Some of the boys here do that.
Father: What, the boys wear nail polish?
Me: Yes. There's a boy in the kindy room who loves nail polish. We don't discourage it.
Father: What?
Me: We don't discourage it. If they want to wear nail polish, we're not going to tell them they shouldn't.
Father: But he's a boy!
Other Carer: He has older sisters, I think they did this to him.

At which point I stopped trying.

¹PF = Presumed Female, as in children born with a vagina and vulva.
²PM = Presumed Male, as in children born with a penis and testicles.

On Rape Culture, Amanda Palmer, and Disappointment

An open letter to Amanda Palmer,

I have adored your music for many years. When I was sixteen and dealing with abuse, depression and self-harm, your words spoke to me. I was the Girl Anachronism, stuck in a prison of her own skin; I was the Perfect Fit, always nowhere, never belonging; I was thrown around in a sea of turmoil, desperately trying to make sense of this sensless world. 

As I grew older and learned more about you, my adoration turned to admiration. You were unashamed about your sexuality, about your feminism, your body hair, your belly. I have tried in vain to capture just a small piece of that self-confidence. 

You spoke of topics others wouldn't dare to touch; rape, abortion, sexual abuse, and you did it with upbeat tunes, humour and a twinkle in your eye. It was shocking, confronting. It worked. You forced people to stop and pay attention. You made it work. 

And then there was Katy Perry. You raped her. You found a look alike, played her song of confusion and empowerment, and raped that look alike on stage.
And I have to ask why.

You've told the world how hard it is, to be a popstar and a woman. A woman like Katy Perry, perhaps?
So why?

Why did you decide to simulate rape? Why did you feel the need to violate her like that? Aren't you aware that many of your fans are rape and sexual abuse survivors? Aren't you aware of the impact this might hav hade on them? The impact it has had on some of them? 

I support your right to using shock and humour to discuss difficult subjects. Hell, I love it. You give your fans a way of talking, you empower them. 
But this? It was scary, triggering, worrying, and sickening. It made me cringe and cry and twitch and shake. This is not shock and humour. It is rape culture. And it makes me ill. 

20th Down Under Feminist Carnival

Hello all and welcome to the 20th Down Under Feminist Carnival. This month has been a busy one, and the number of submissions I've received reflect that. This is my first carnival, so be kind :)

I'm sorry this came out so late. I have had what is kindly described as a shit week. But all is good and I am resting and better, so yay.

This image was submitted by Lauredhel and comes from the post More Salt by Blue Milk
Description: A child crawling on wet sand, left arm raised as if to take another step. Tyre tracks are visible on the sand. In the distance is what appears to be a large water body and green land, possibly trees. The sky is bright blue with a few white/grey clouds visible.

The optional theme this month is Feminism and Childcare, so I'll start with that.

Submitted by Alison Godfrey is Your Say On The National Breastfeeding Strategy, written by Alison Godfrey. This is about, as you might have guessed, the National Breastfeeding Strategy.

Submitted by Chally and Lauredhel, Adventures in Parenting in Public, written by Baroquestar, chronicling a difficult conversation had with her child on a tram, and the perceptions of strangers.

Also submitted by Chally and Lauredhel, And So It Begins, by Ariane at Ariane's Little World, about her thoughts on the start of the Princess Phase.

Submitted by Mynxii, Figurines and the Colour Pink, written by Tikiwanderer. She writes about trying to find inspirational figurines for her daughter, and the PinkStinks website.

Also submitted by Mynxii, Lone Princesses and Girly Books, by tansyrr at tansyrr.com. About children's books and princesses.

Another submission from Chally and Lauredhel, Teaspoons Aren't Enough by Pharaoh Katt (that's me!) at Something More Than Sides. This post details a conversation I had at work, and my feelings of futility.

And finally, once again submitted by Chally and Lauredhel (great minds think alike, it seems), .Babies on the Big Screen, posted by BlueMilk at Blue Milk Watch the trailer for the upcoming Babies docco!

Transcript:
Two babies sit, each in front of a rock with a rock in each hand. They bang the rock in their hands against the rock on the ground.
Baby 1 reaches for a plastic bottle. Baby 2 tries to take the plastic bottle from Baby 1. Baby 1 cries, leans over, stops crying, and bites Baby 2. Baby 2 begins to cry, then pushes Baby 1. Baby 1 begins to cry.
Cut
Words “Focus Features” against background of out-of-focus coloured dots.
Cut.
Image of pregnant belly being stroked.
Cut
Black background with the words “Four New Babies” in light blue.
Four cuts, each showing one of the four babies.
Cut
Black background with the words “Four Places on Earth” in light blue
Four quick cuts:
1.Grassy field with blue sky. Sky has some clouds. Sheep appear to be in field. Words: “Bayanchandamani, Mongolia”
2.A busy city, with sky scrapers and bridges, on what appears to be a coastline. Words: “Tokyo, Japan”
3.Dark silhouette of a man, some trees, and an unrecognised object, against a dark blue, nearly night sky. Sunlight is visible just on the horizon. Words: “Opuwo, Namibia”
4.A large water body in front of multiple sky scrapers, against a grey sky. Words: “San Francisko, USA”
Cut
Black background with light blue words: “One Year”
Some Cuts of Babies Playing, Including:
Baby feet with Katakana characters written in red,
Woman smiling,
Person holding a child with feet on a big blue ball,
mother holding a child in her arms, their heads pressed together
Person wrapping child up in blue cloth, strings are tied around the cloth
A woman, a man and a child on a motocycle, on a grassy field
A baby wrapped up on a bed, waving hir arms up and down
A man and a baby in a shower. Only the torso of the man is visible
A baby and a rooster
A silhouette of a baby on a bed
A baby and a rooster
A baby in a bouncer, tied to a white door frame
A baby and a white dog with a faint brown patch over its eye. The baby is opening the dogs mouth with hir hand
A baby holding a CD
The words, flashed one at a time: “The” “Babies” “Are” “Coming”
The word “Babies”
A baby sitting in a tub, gurgling. A goat can be seen in the background.
Black background. Words “Coming Soon” in light blue.

Next up, I'd like yo highlight some posts showing the intersectionality of Feminism and other movements.

Intersectionality:

From Chally, Who Needs Identity Politics?, by Queen of Thorns at Ideologically Impure. A great beat-down of an article full of white-privilege and general fail.

And now, for some General Feminism:

Submitted by Lauredhel and tigtog, Girls Gone Wild or Wild Women? Or: We Never Had Nasty Sluts in My Day, written by Lauredhel at Hoyden About Town. As tigtog says, “Superb examination of the double standard regarding women behaving "badly" compared to the expectation that men will get drunk and loutish - the moral panic about women becoming masculinised and how it's "all feminism's fault".”

Next, The Invisible Mother Christmas, submitted and written by Anne Else at Elsewoman. Who does all the work at Christmas?

Chally gives us The Avatar Indignation Thread written by Wildly Paranthetical at Hoyden About Town. Come and rant about all the fail in the recent film Avatar.

Lauredhel submits Did *you* know you hated Kiera Knightly? Don't worry, it surprised me too, written by and posted at Fuck Politeness a critique of the media obsession with pitting women against each other.

Another from Lauredhel, Does Not Compute, By Jo Tamar at Wallaby. Apparently some people think that forcing people to spend 40% of their income on food is a good thing!

Again from Lauredhel, Revealing His Stripes, by In A strange Land. From the post: “Tony Abbott thinks everyone should be indoctrinated with christianity.”

Another from Lauredhel, Abbott and Women, Some Thoughts at Still Life With Cat. Another post about Tony Abbott, this time about his standing (or lack there of) with women.

Health and Fertility:

First, submitted by Lauredhel, Fertility Rates Updated, posted by Penguin Unearthed.

Another from Lauredhel, As if cancer wasn't hideous enough already by She's A Carnivore. About the disgusting trend of sexifying breast cancer.

Next, Chally submitted Seroprevalence amongst trans women, written by Queen Emily at Questioning Transphobia. It details some stats of HIV prevelance in trans women and trans sex workers.

And finally, because we all need to be cheered up now and then, Mary gives us Full Of Win at In A strange Land. Rape prevention tips that aren't victim blaming! For the win!!

Thank you all for playing. The 21st Down Under Feminist Carnival will be brought to you by Rayedish at The Radical Radish, planned for 5th February. Submissions to rayedish at gmail dot com for those who can’t access blogcarnival.

Teaspoons Aren't Enough*

I would like to recount for you a conversation I had today with one of the presumed-males in my kindy room. Said PM is one of the oldest in my room, and attends a Kindy** part-time.
This conversation occurred while he was playing with some cardboard cars. He said that his car was "a boys' car" and mocked the other child for holding "a girls' car".

I went over to talk to the child, and this exchange occurred. (NB: K = me, PM = the child)

K: What makes your car a boys' car?
PM: Well, it goes really fast.
K: Girls can go really fast, too.
PM: *look of disbelief* What?
K: It's true. Girls can race in race cars.
PM: No way!
K: Yup. Some girls even build their own race cars, and then race in them.
PM: But I've never seen a girl race on TV.

Now try telling me that the media doesn't have an impact on children. This is why feminists sweat the "small stuff". It very quickly ads up to "big stuff".

*A reflection on my feelings of helplessness, not an idea that we should stop teaspooning.
**The type attached to a primary school

How I Discovered Ableism

This is the story of how I first became a disability rights activist, before I knew what those words meant. I can remember the story clearly, and even now thinking about it fills me with inconsolable rage.

As some of you know, my younger brother has Asperger's Syndrome, an Autistic Spectrum Disorder.

When Adam was in year three, he was dealing with some pretty intense bullying. He often came home upset, had no friends, and did all he could at lunch to escape the tormenting. At this point, my father was in intense pain from his car accident and also in the midst of deep depression, so he was rarely seen out of his room where he slept all day. My mother was working nights to make ends meet, and so also spent a lot of the time asleep. They tried their hardest, but did not have the energy to do more than have a few phone calls to the principle, who was "aware of the matter, and looking into it".

I was 13, and has taken over the role of parent to the younger children (because my older brother is irresponsible). I made sure the younger children did their homework, ate enough food (Mum did grocery shopping while I was at school, but I often cooked). I made sure the clothes were washed, the animals fed, the eggs collected, the children got to school on time. So it's not really all that surprising when Adam came to me for help with the bullying.

Despite my mother's phone calls, the situation had continued to escalate. A situation occurred when some tormentors had followed him into the bathrooms after he ignored them, and continued to torment him there. He got upset, and yelled and cried at them, and they pushed him into his own urine.

I decided at that point that enough was enough, and I was going to visit his teacher after school and discuss it. I gave Adam a not to give her, so she would be expecting me, and told him to wait for me to pick him up after class. The next afternoon, dressed in my private school uniform, I made my way to the school to talk with my little brother's year three teacher.

I sat in front of her, my heart pounding in my chest, describing the series of events and how they had escalated. I told her about my mother's calls to the principle and how they had been ignored. I asked her what she was going to do to make this school a safe place for my brother.

Her answer? Nothing. She gave me all the usual excuses; "boys will be boys", "you weren't there, how do you know he didn't cause it?", "It would be showing favouritism to take his side". I was shocked. I was angry. My heart pounded rapidly, my cheeks became red.

"Three boys, against my brother. They ganged up on him. They pushed him into his own urine. How can you say that it's his fault?"

She told me, with not hint of irony, that it was his fault because of his Asperger's. He provoked them, she said. And if he could just be more normal this wouldn't be happening.
She said this to me. She told me that my brother deserved the bullying because he wasn't normal, that it was his fault.

I can't remember if I replied. I remember my eyes were clouded with angry tears. I remember feeling betrayed. I remember taking my brother by the hand and leading him out of the room. I remember not saying a single thing on the walk home, waiting until I arrived to rant loudly and angrily at anyone who would listen.

I don't know if anything official came from my meeting. I know that my mother was just as pissed as me, but I don't know if she continued to pursue the matter. I know that my other younger brother, who was nine years old and in year four, took it upon himself to become Adam's protector. Because the teachers did nothing, Josh stayed with Adam at lunch and recess, and beat up anyone who dared to say anything against him. After he beat up a group of four year 7s, people got the message and left Adam alone.

This incident has stuck with me. My little brother could not speak for himself because of the power dynamic inherent in teacher-student relationships. He was completely at her mercy, and they both knew it. I came in because I knew it. I was an outside party, not part of that school, not bound by that dynamic. But this was not enough, because she knew she could disregard him and get away with it. She knew she could disregard the safety of one of her students with no ill effects because of his disability.

And she is STILL A TEACHER.

This is why disability activism is so important to me. Because people like her are out there, in positions of power, treating people like shit because of their disabilities. And they're doing so with impunity. This cannot continue, and I will do everything in my power to try and stop it.

Positive Experiences with Disability Activism

I had some really positive experiences today with some disability activism that I would really like to share. The first two were at work and the third at an after-work conference for language development in the Middle Swan area.

I was having a Kindy staff meeting with the kindy qualified and the director, who each work a half day in the kindy room.The Qualified has been working full time, but has had some back issues so has dropped to part time.
Anyway, the meeting was to discuss programming, jobs, and get me up to speed with the running of the room, 'cause I'm new there.

We have decided to split the group into two for certain activities, and were working on the split. We didn't want Group 1 and Group 2 or Group A and Group B, because we don't want the children thinking Group 1/A is the "better" group, so we've decided to call them colours.
Director said, "Let's make it Red and Green." and Qualified agreed.
I said, "That's a bad idea for accessibility, because people who are red green colourblind will have trouble telling the difference" (this is assuming the children have a red or green dot on their work or something like that)
Director said, "I never would have thought of that. That's why we need you here, to bring it up."
The colours are now Red and Blue.

The second happened in the same staff meeting. I said I wanted to start introducing the children to some sign language. Not only were the staff positive and receptive, but they encouraged it and gave me ideas on how we could implement it.

Finally, at the mini-conference.
We were watching a short film called Gus's Story about a child with some language developmental delays. I was listening to the mother talking about her fears, and her fear that her child would never speak but instead use sign language or message boards.
I had mixed feelings about this film. On the one hand, I understand that the mother is scared and feeling alone. Her husband had also just been diagnosed with terminal cancer.
On the other hand, the types of things she is worrying about bother me. She is worried that her son won't be "normal", and at the end relieved when he is.

I'm not bothered by her, per se, more about how society as a whole views disability as something broken, something needing to be fixed. And what the hell is wrong with sign language or message boards?

I wasn't going to say anything. I was already disturbed by the video, and it was a room full of people I don't know which can set off my anxiety. But then, in the comments and question session at the end, everyone kept talking about the mother. About her fear, about her openness to address the issue, about how to talk to her (and reassure her that it could be "fixed" :( )... No one had mentioned the child.

When she handed me the mike, I said something to the effect of (can't remember verbatim, I was a little emotional at the time): We need to realise that even if a child does have something like Autism or a language disorder, that they aren't less important, they are still whole children who need our love and support, they aren't something broken that needs to be fixed.
I was so close to tears by the end of that, less from the stress and more from just the emotion. Dealing with people who've held those attitudes, it really does affect me.

But after I said it? People clapped. The speaker thanked me for bringing it up and told everyone that it was vitally important that they all remember and act on that. After the talk, someone came up to me and thanked me again and said I was fantastic (no, I wasn't. I shouldn't have gotten that response). It makes me happy that something I've said might have some small effect on the people there, and hopefully on the children in their care.

What I want people to take away from this is not about me. Please do not thank me or congratulate me or anything like that, because honestly, that's not what this is about.

I want to stress that it is troublesome that I need to bring these things up. It shouldn't have to be done. But it does, and so long as I am in a position where I have the spoons to do it, I will, and I encourage people to do the same. Because there could be a person there who hasn't the spoons to deal with it.

The other thing I want you to take away from this is hope. Some things make a difference! Some things said in everyday interactions have an effect! And, for me today, that made all of the failed attempts just a little more bearable.

As I said to LM: I think I've thoroughly "outed" myself as a health-conscious disability activist greenie, how long before I "out" myself as a feminist too? :P
(Not too long, by the looks of things, but that's off topic)

The sign for today was Thank You.

The Spoon Theory: How Does It Affect You?

The Spoon Theory is a theory used to explain life with a disability. In short: you have 12 spoons. Every activity uses up a number of spoons, some more than others, due to pain, emotional turmoil, and a host of other symptoms. Able-bodied (and neurotypical) persons have mostly unlimited spoons, and so don't have to worry about rationing their spoons out for fear they may need them more for another task.

While reading a post at Hoyden About Town about able-bodied people co opting the spoon theory, I began thinking about how spoons affect everybody differently.

For me, it's about mental illness, somethng which I still struggle to identify as a disability. There are three ways that this can hit me. They are all inextricably linked, but for the purpose of this exercise I will talk about them separately. These three things are: depression, anxiety and social anxiety.

Depression: this is probably the most constant thing I feel. It is slowly but surely taxing. Every day I experience depression it takes a little bit more out of me. Every day it gets a little bit harder to function until, before I realise it's happened, I've hit rock bottom and am no longer living. And suddenly I have no spoons. Without LM to prompt me I will not get out of bed, I will not eat, I will just lie in bed doing nothing all day. I wish I was exaggerating.

Anxiety: this comes in bouts. It's hard to tell whether it is a precursor for deprssion or occurs because of depression, but the two get worse at a similar level. When I am in an anxious period I have to ration all of my interactions, including those that take place online. Each time I venture from the house, a spoon is used. Each bus or train I get on uses a spoon. Online interactions use less, but it's often hard for me to tell until they've been used up. I am paranoid during this time. It feels like I am constantly being watched and judged. Every action feels forced and fake.

Social anxiety: this is similar but different to "normal" anxiety. It can and does strike at any time, regardless of previous mood. It is the anxiety I feel when seeing specific groups of people (my family, LM's family, northam, some others) and the anxiety I feel when I am around unfamiliar people. I need to ration carefully or I will start bawling in the middle of a social interaction. LM is my rock, and often I can cope by hiding behind Him, but spoons are limited.

I should note that although these are separate uses of spoons, they are not separate supplies. If all my spoons are drained when I am depressed, for example, that's it, they're done.

There's my story. How do your spoons affect you?

Hey Hey It's Saturday: Racist Defense Bingo Card

After the Hey Hey It's Saturday skit featuring blackface went to air, there were a number of people rightly offended. There were a number of other people who just didn't seem to get it, and have made all sorts of arguments as to why it';s perfectly acceptable. I have compiled the most repeated and most ridiculous arguments in a Bingo Card, which I will now share with you. (Click for a better image)



Now let's talk about why these arguments are ridiculous.

It's the Australian sense of humour
There are types of Australian humour that I like: pantomime, dead-pan, self deprecating humour...
Then there's humour that relies on treading on the already disenfranchised: racist humour, sexist humour, ableist humour, humour against transgendered people, humour against anyone not straight... This type of humour does nothing more than strengthen the status quo which tells us that the highest thing to push for is being a white, straight, able-bodied cis man. This isn't inherently Australian, it's inherently appalling.

Americans imposing values!
You mean values like decency and a respect for fellow people? How horrible! Why would we ever want that? (Please not the heavy sarcasm)

But Australia didn't have slavery!
Australia didn't officially have slavery. But Australia has a history of white supremacy, treating Aboriginal Australians as non-human and forcing them to work in appalling conditions for very little pay, if any at all (normally none). Australia does not have anything remotely resembling a clean history when it comes to racism.

They won't change for us, why should we change for them?
Ah yes, cultural relativism. This argument basically boils down to "But he started it!" We don't want to end racism because other countries are, we want to end racism because it's the right thing to do.

They're impersonating the Jackson 5, of course they have to black up!
If they were impersonating the Jackson 5 they would make an attempt to look like the Jackson 5. What they did was apply boot polish to mock them, and also to mock Michael Jackson's auto-immune disease (you know, the one which caused his skin to lighten?)

But it was a TRIBUTE!
To who? Michael? It is not a tribute to make fun of someone who has only recently died. Especially not in the way they performed it, which was clearly derogatory.

It was just a JOKE!
Yes, it was a joke. A joke that is deeply entrenched in years of institutionalised racism and hatred. It's not just a joke, it's a joke filled with hatred and mistreatment and a denial of justice. Go on, keep laughing.

It's the INTENT that matters
No, it isn't. I know they didn't intend to be racist, but that doesn't stop the skit from being racist.

Lighten up already
Deal with years of oppression based on the colour of your skin already!

But it's just a TV show
TV is a popular medium which continues to perpetuate stereotypes. This is generally considered by progressives as Not Good.

But they were all doctors and respectable people
Then they should know better. Next!

What did you expect?
I didn't expect anything. I'm responding to what I got. And what I got was a horribly racist skit.

Just harden up!
Just deal with years of violence and hatred based on the colour of your skin!

I don't see how it's racist
This is what is known as privilege. If you don't have any clue what privilege means, I suggest you do some research. I'll even help! Read this.

No one cares!!
This is probably the most ridiculous argument I've heard. Of course people care! That's why we're talking about it!

Harry Connick Jnr. is a HYPOCRIT
You're referring to the Preacher skit. Also racist. It doesn't magically make this skit less racist. The world doesn't work like that.

What about 'White Chicks'?
... I'm not sure I can even be bothered answering this one. Anyone wanna help me out?

It wouldn't be offensive if it was 'whiteface'
Do you honestly not see the difference between a non-privileged person making fun of a privileged person, and a privileged person making fun of a non-privileged? Seriously? Racism = prejudice + power.

But the guy is Indian!
No one is immune from racism.

Robert Downey Jnr. did it and won an Oscar!
I haven't seen Tropic Thunder, so I can't know for sure, but I was under the impression that it was mocking the Hollywood portrayal of "the other". BIIIIG difference.

I'm not a racist, but...
Just like "No offence, but..." this is a common tactic used by people who are about to say something extremely racist or otherwise offensive. Saying "I'm not a racist" does not make your statement any less racist.

Chris Rock makes 'white jokes' all the time
Please see my response to "whiteface".

I know this black person and he doesn't care
I say again: no one is immune to racism!

It's political correctness gone MAD!
1. Don't use ableist language.
2. What the hell is wrong with e little bit of respect? I don't get it!

"...storm in a teacup"
*sigh* It would be, if this was an isolated incident and Australia didn't have such a sordid history of racism. It would be if the world was all completely utopian and equal and people weren't routinely discriminated against because they were not straight white able-bodied cis men. But the world isn't like that. The world is full of hate and discrimination and we need to call it out every time we see it. Every time. It's the only way there can ever be any change at all.

Kitkat said in the comments:

White chicks was not only racist but sexist as well at least in my opinion. I found a good review for it here

As for tropic thunder a review from the same website.

Thanks Kitkat!

I'm very new to dealing with issues of racism, so please feel free to amend, correct, alter or whatever my arguments. Any help would be appreciated. Please feel free to link this page to anyone you know.